Keeping The Conversation Going

Gone are the days of blind dates now that online dating allows us to assess suitable suitors in a matter of a few minutes rather than throwing caution to the wind and meeting someone sight unseen.

However online dating can also have the affect of giving a false impression of someone we have just met online, as often times a real life date turns out to be much different than first perceived online.

It’s natural to be nervous on a first date – and nerves are the great enemy of easy, natural conversation. So if you already have been chatting to your potential new love online in a singles chat room, then before you head out on that all-important first date, make a mental note of what he or she has told you about themselves.

A lot of first dates happen in restaurants and cafes…but is this the best place to get a conversation going? A better idea is to go to a concert, play, museum, art gallery or one of your city’s attractions…or even a hike in nature or a stroll around a historic neighbourhood. This way, the landscape will give you cues to converse about – there’s less pressure than being in a restaurant with someone you don’t yet know very well.

So picking the venue for your first date is important, especially if you feel you won’t win any awards for conversation starters.

Having met online first is a great way to use ‘saved up’ information to fall back on in times of the conversation flow drying up. Show interest in how you address their questions, and use their questions as a cue to build on other conversation topics.

And be open yourself – if a person sees that you’re open, they’re be more likely to be open in return. If conversation has stalled, and it’s possible to change the venue, do so. Getting out in the night air can help. The other tactic is to just be honest and say, “Hey, I’m just a little nervous here, this being the first date, and I’m not sure what to say.” Acknowledging the problem out loud can be a real ice breaker.

Keep the topics of conversation light hearted and on mutual ground. Whilst it’s great to have personal views and desires, starting a debate about the politics of current world news is not the best way to offer a worthy first impression.

When you’re talking, end your comments by asking what you’re date thinks on the matter – in other words, draw them in. Avoid monopolizing the talk and ask open ended questions.

The very purpose of going on a date is to see what makes the other person tick. So by offering each other your experiences in a fun and light hearted way, sets the scene for stimulation conversation and builds interest. Talk about travel, adventures you’ve been on or about the time you went ski diving or skiing in Canada and do try to avoid talking about your EX!

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