Dating Your Friends Ex Lover – Should You?

Dating the person that has always (until now) been associated with going out with your best friend is one of the most difficult situations you will come up against in the land of love.

Coming between two people that share a mutual attraction is no easy task. Even if they happen to be your closest friend and the person with whom you were once intimate with.

Is such an act of controversial romance a blatant act of deception, or do the new couple have every right to think of themselves and move on to form new love? Does this simply come down to two single people hooking up, and any ex partners should just have to learn to deal with it – is it that simple?

But…is getting together with your friends ex rubbing salt into the wounds, is such a situation as cut and dry as ‘now that person is single, it’s game on!’ When is the timing appropriate for you to go where what was once considered strictly off limits?

Perhaps the answer all lies in the timing of when your friend actually broke up with his/her ex. Allowing some time for wounds to heal would be a compromise that could see you get the girl (or guy) and still retain your friendship. Good friends are hard to come by, so consider this very carefully before you broach this tricky terrain.

Apart from the potential fall out you face directly from your friend, dating your friends ex has the potential for many other pit falls people don’t often consider or think of. What about once mutual friends? and turning up to functions where you see full view of your ex and friend together in love. Do you retain the once mutual friends, or does your ex? History will show, that initially, it’s extremely difficult for you and your ex to maintain the same group of friends you once shared.

Do new connections between the ex and your friend have an expiry date? Is your previous association always going to hinder the progress of this new love affair? There are many things to consider other than lust.

Is it acceptable conduct to ask your friends ex out on a date without discussing this with your friend? Is it anyone else’s business but yours? Out of respect of your friendship, divulging such information will see your good character upheld down the track if things go bad.

And by being forthcoming about your intentions, you will not be labeled as sneaky by your mutual friends. It’s important to keep your good name in tact which can easily be done by making the hard decisions to be open and honest. But don’t make the moves on your mates ex straight away, wait a few months, for everybody’s sake.

So yes you have every right to date your friends ex, but to do so in a deceptive manner will be seen as an obvious sign of a lack of character, but being open, honest and tactful will give you the best chance of retaining your friend as well.

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